Status Change

Hi there! This is not included in our current [Project: Standard], but may be a bit relative. May I ask you a question? Are you in any case about to change your status from Single to In A Relationship? If the answer is yes, then good, you’re on the right post. If the answer is no, you’re still on the right post.

The reason I asked you the status change question is because I want to shake you up and see if you are really ready. I felt the need to share this to you urgently — because God cares so much about you.

A good friend of mine told me in order to be really ready in a relationship we must be 95% Financially, Physically, Emotionally, and Spiritually ready (you must’ve heard this a thousand times, that is because this is really important). I, at this moment, based on his status, is: 90% Financially ready, 80% Physically ready, 75% Spiritually ready and 30% Emotionally ready — which I told my friend to reduce this one to 0%, so let’s put 0% on this one now.

If you say you are ready, then well and good, shall we take a closer look?

Financially Ready. I’m not saying only people who earns high salary are the only ones that should be dating, no! This point is intended that you must first be able to support yourself before supporting anyone. Let’s face it, dating is money consuming. You’ll have to go on a date — if you’re broke you can’t buy anything. Yes, you can just prepare lunch and bring them to dates (which I think is romantic), but how about the ingredients? Will you be asking your parents for it? Basically, if you’re a student then your financially readiness in down to 0% (ouch, don’t worry I have a zero too, see!). If you’re still a student, you are not yet allowed to date. Why? because you’re still not earning for yourself! So finish your studies, look for a stable job or build your own company and then date. Go ahead. People with silver spoon in their mouth are lucky, you may say— NOPE! They still have three other points to pass and take a good long look. Like the one below.

Physically Ready. Dating is physically tiring. You just have to have the endurance. Well basically you have to keep up with one another. Say, the girl you like is an olympic shopper (Gold medalist here!), you have to have the resistance to walk long walks — if not, it might disappoint her (but girls, please don’t be disappointed, they are not made to be an olympic shopper like us! manage your expectations). The same way is true for girls, for example the guy courting you is a jack-of-all trade in sports, which means when you get to be his girlfriend you may also have to try those sports. Like, early in the morning he invited you to go jogging and you said “Oh yes sure, just please wake me up.” and when he’s trying to wake up you turn your phone into silent mode (guilty as charged) — and he felt bad because you promised and you slept otherwise. See? I’m just really throwing this out, if you have anymore ideas about being physically ready, you are more welcome to add on this. Shall we go on the next one?

Spiritually ready. Both of you must be spiritually growing while being in the relationship. You must have a strong faith and trust in the Lord if you are going to be in a relationship. Because life will throw you (or both of you) lemons and if one or both (disastrous) is a bit wobbly on the spiritual readiness side, you will throw lemons at each other instead and not enjoy making lemonades. (Did you get my lemony point?) If you did not get my ambiguous relationship of lemons and lemonades — if your relationship is struck by a problem and your first solution was to argue over it and not pray, then you might be a little bit low on the spiritual readiness side. How will you know if you are ready? In our church, guys ask permission to our pastor and our pastor checks up if he is ready to pursue the girl. Once they’ve made an agreement to commit to the relationship, then they will both ask the pastor’s blessing. Beautifully in order. If you have the same thing on your church please share, we would like to hear them. Last one?

Emotionally ready. Dating is emotionally exhausting. Whoo! I’m zero on this, so bear with me. Let’s help each other on this last factor. Being in a relationship will make you vulnerable to hurt, pain and other unwanted feelings as well as joy and, of course, love! You’ll experience high and lows, and you must be ready to accept your partners character during these phases. You must be able to take up each others’ emotional burden. That even when the person hurts you, you will not give up easily, but understand one another. No matter how small or big the arguments you both will face, you are both ready to deal with it. Do you have other ideas on how to measure this one? I’m really short-handed, sorry!

You see, you cannot focus targeting 100% on one and forget the other — all of them must be balanced — you calculate them not by average but by individual (just like how the ECE board exam is caluclated, lol). If you are unsure of how you rate, you can ask a close friend, your parents even (which is better because they know you) on how you measure. Because being in a relationship is a serious matter. If you are thinking “Why? It’ll only be just me and him/her who’ll get hurt when this is over.” My dear friends you have never been so wrong. Everyone who loves you is as invested as you are in the relationship. When both of you are happy, they are too. When both of you are sad, they are too. When you broke up, you don’t only break each others heart but everyone who loves you — first on the list are your parents (they are heart broken too, they might not show it, but they are too. Believe me on this), then your friends (whom you will tell your woes and comfort you), the church (because they’ll feel the awkwardness — which should not), the pastor (because he gave you his blessing) — basically everyone. So before you change that status, please be very sure, think twice, think thrice — even think a thousand times. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement.

Ask God and pray for discernment if this is the right time or if you shall wait a little bit more, also to sustain you or even raise your ratings up. This will save you, your love, and all other people who loves you from the heartbreak. I am praying for you right now!

If you rate 95% and above on all (mind you not average, all must be 95%) then congratulations on your journey together! God has blessed both of you and I pray that you will be a blessing to others as well. Be strong in love and life, never give up on each other — eyes on the prize.

If you rate 70% to 94%, you are blessed as well my friend, because you just have to wait a little longer, God’s timing is perfect. Remember: Obey now, Happy later.

If you rate 69% below, you are the most blessed in this group — God has gifted you the gift of singleness for a time being, so this is a gift that must be used wisely. Never frown! I’ll leave this for you:

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things [including the “one”] shall be added unto you.” — Matthew 6:33 KJV

In any case, trust God and pray. Ask for His help in this aspect of our life.

Share the word. Share the gospel. To God be the glory.


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