“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” — Colossians 3:23 KJV
For me, consistency is the key. Apparently, (some — not saying all) men’s action becomes inversely proportional with time (meaning their actions deplete or decreases as time [together] goes by). Based on some books that I read (guys, please correct me if I’m wrong), when a man already caught the woman he loves, he becomes lenient and stops pursuing her. Most of the time this becomes an issue for the girls (like me).
You guys should at least (meaning effort-level when you were courting her should be the minimum, not the maximum!) maintain the level of affection (or better yet gradually increase) from when you courted her. Do not just put on a show at the beginning and leave her hanging.
This standard is pretty straight forward — we [girls] want you guys to be consistent in your action. After all isn’t it why you guys pursued us? You promised to give us the moon and to fetch the stars, yet after we said yes your actions become inconsistent? Man up! You pursued her! You wanted her yes, now that you got it, work hard to maintain it!
I know time can be our downfall, ask God for help in this area of your life. Maybe it’s time to think what is causing your inconsistencies? And find a solution to it. Initially, explain the reason to her, so that she could understand you well and would not feel hurt — I know she’ll understand, she loves you — but after the explanation is action.
But in my opinion (both girls and guys), time is not an excuse for guys to be inconsistent. Because, if you really love someone then you must make time for them. If you are really busy, a surprise 2-minute call can make a difference. It doesn’t have to be whole day, we girls know you also need time for yourselves, we understand that. Just let us know you remember us.
I pray to God that this notion of inconsistency will be removed from the guys. I know you can do it! I believe in you!
Relationship must give and take (balanced giving and taking) for it to flourish. If this is bothering you, talk to him and tell him in a loving way that maybe their efforts are a bit trailing down from what it used to be, you may ask why — are they busy with their job? Are they hands full at the moment? If so, then give them time and understand them (guys, do not abuse this reasoning). Give them a chance to prove themselves again. Also, manage your expectations — because you might just be expecting a lot from him.
But what if he is consistent? consistently missing in action? Then you might need to think about it. I’m not saying break up (nope, don’t do that unless it has become emotionally abusive. Talk about it, never let your emotions and pain get ahead of you. True love never gives up!), my point is to convey your feelings to him in a way that he will understand. I know if he truly loves you, he will wake up (from day dreaming? lol) and realize that he is trailing down, I know he’ll come around and show you how much he truly loves you.
Now remember, we must be consistent in our actions as well. This is not a problem the guys also have, but we too may be entangled in this area. Pray to God and ask Him to help you find the perfect ryhthm of consistency.
I’ll leave this one to all of us. To take note that in everything we do, we do it all for the glory of God. So if our actions are inconsistent, are we really giving glory to His name?
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” — 1 Corinthians 10:31