The Theory of Exclusivity

Mostly, I have observed that guys are a creature that lives by the “living in the moment” culture, while the girls are more of futuristic. If you put this two together, they complement each other — one learns how to live in the moment, while the other learns how to foresee and prepare for the future — how wonderfully crafted by God! But most of the times, this “living in the moment” idea causes friction between the two. How you may ask? Well I think it is because of my self-made theory — The Theory of Exclusivity — what you do to me is only to me, don’t do that to other girls.

Most often than not, guys are the friendly ones, while we girls are picky when it comes to friendship — I cannot explain why guys are such, but for us girls it is basically because of that “foreseeing” the future nature. Not that we judge people, there’s a difference, it’s just that some girls, like I do, need to establish a certain connection before we click with each other. Truthfully, being friends with girls has a lot of drama (sometimes it is good for the heart, sometimes I just don’t want extra whipped cream on my latte thank you! — this is just my personal view, don’t hate me. haha!), I myself is a self-confessed one-of-the-boys, but I have more than girl friends than boy friends, and my [girl] clique are not very girly (some yes, but mostly nerdy lol, love you friends) — you can say less drama (ok we’re getting sidetracked of my friendship history, let’s go back to the real topic, haha!).

I am still in the process of understanding the guys mind when it comes to friendship. Maybe I am having a hard time because I am a certified overly-jealous girlfriend (which I am now learning to let go), thus me making this theory. Not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that I don’t trust her (which as of writing I am realizing that I don’t trust you as well, so you see I’m in the great process — and I think after writing this I would have a little clarification of the guys mind). Because we are futuristic, we can see that the simple “hello” now could lead to a dramatic “I love you”, maybe not tomorrow and hopefully never, or that your name-calling shenanigans could somehow affect your image (and well respected reputation and surname. See we look out for you guys, thank you very much!). That’s why we (well I, haha!) are telling you to limit any action that might stir up unwanted reaction. But you know, that might not the case, most of the times their friendship continues and you just have to accept that your guy is really really super friendly (well we love them, so give and take, and most of all communication).

I asked a friend about this — cause this is really bugging me, I thought he is on my side but to my surprise he is willing to break up with his girlfriend should there be an issue like this. Until now he knows we have a different point of view on the matter, and so much respects that, but even so I admired him (as a friend guys, don’t put color on it, haha!) more because of one of his statements — that the problem is between the lovers, that they did not set out clear limitation(s) before they started the relationship. That they did not talk this through that is why the girls are feeling the way she is feeling — jealous. And that the guy should talk to his girlfriend and assure her that nothing beyond the friendship would happen — so on this topic and conversation, I let him slide and did not bother shoving in my theory (thank you friend).

I may have another conversation with him, maybe on how to accept the closeness between the guy and the girl friend, and also maybe how not to be overly-jealous — actually to not be jealous at all! I have yet to learn on this matter.

As for the guys, I just want you to be aware that your girlfriend might have this theory in mind — whatever your course of action is, it is up to you — decide for yourself, I don’t want to give unsolicited advice, haha! You’re old enough to handle this issue — I just gave you our standpoint on this mattah.

For me, I still have many things to learn. Maybe scrap this theory at all, cling to some or live by it. I don’t know. I’ll pray for it and I’ll trust God to teach me what to do. For now I am re-discovering myself — I want to discover who I really am in God’s eyes, accept and love who I really am.



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