Standard #9: Must Experience Difficulty Pursuing You

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” — James 1:12 NIV

For guys

Before you frown again with me [the gentlemen], haha! You might say I am making your life difficult by listing these standards — first of all you really must have difficulty in pursuing her. Why? Because I believe (this is just pretty much my own opinion, just as my disclaimer. ok?) that nothing worth having comes easy.

This does not mean you have to do anything she ask — even do things out of this world just to get her approval — that’s a big No (I’ll have a separate talk with the girls, don’t worry), but pursue her and show her that you genuinely care. This phase is where you can show her how serious you are in taking care of her, and how ready you are to catch her and love her flaws— this shows the glimpse of what you are capable of when you become in a relationship with her.

Instead of thinking this will just be a waste of time, this is your way of showing you deserve her “yes”. Just be very careful though, some girls might just let you do things and just lean on you — using you for personal advantage.

The “experience difficulty”part just means you have to put extra effort to get her yes. We good? 🙂

I pray to God to give you the perseverance you need in order to pursue her — have the right motive and that what you are feeling is genuine and true — that what you have in mind is marriage not short time relationship. I pray to God to make you ready and that His timing and yours are in sync.


Well sometimes, the problem is with us — not the guys. Sometimes, when we know one is interested in us, we throw ourselves to them — not giving them a chance to put extra effort in pursuing us — yes maybe you liked him as well, and you wanted to say yes for he might drift apart. But remember, when love is true, it will never go away. He will pursue you, wait for you and put effort on you no matter what.

I have tasted my own medicine and suffered twice in this area, so I do not want you to make the same mistakes that I did. I have learned a valuable lesson on letting the guys put effort pursuing us — give them a bit of a challenge. A good friend of mine pointed this out to me very well, and told me I shouldn’t have said “yes” sooner, instead gave enough time to prove oneself and ones motives.

On the other note, it does not give us the right to ask out of this world favors — actually we are not to ask them favors just because we know they will do it for us — never ask him to buy you anything or even ask for a service — let him offer or do it on his own. In this topic, my point is not to say yes just because your feelings said so, but check up on God if this is the right timing — ask Him and acknowledge His will. If God said not yet, even if you really really want to say yes — do not say yes yet. Let God move in His life as well as yours.

On that same note, don’t just say No and then act as if you already said yes! When it is not yet the right time, don’t act and lean him on — stay classy. Act normal and with sophistication. Yes you like him as well, but never let it show unless commitments are present — you can care a little but not over the top. A right balance of the heart and mind is what we all need (yes I need this too).

I pray to God to help us listen to Him about when to say yes, and to have the control and discipline to act No, even when our feelings want to say Yes.

In layman’s term — girls be hard to get — but never play with his feelings. All right?

We all have parts to play in love — just make sure our motives is right and under God’s will. If we let God check our emotions rather than leaning on our own understanding — asking Him when is the right time to ask and to answer then it will be made perfect in His time.

I’ll leave this one on to ponder:

“We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized.” — Hebrews 6:11 NIV

Image: Fotor Banner Creator



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