I admit asking the world how.
Believe me or not, my desperation led me Google-ing this phrase a lot of times during “The Dark Ages of 2016” (lol, our official title just like The Choking Hazard of 2015). Sadly, the answers I got are not that useful (well in my opinion), as I was expecting a straightforward answer that tells you what to do from the first day until the nth day in order to survive. I was looking for answers to mend the broken heart, unfortunately what I got just made me feel more broken and lonely.
If in case you will search the internet, just like I did, it will just give you tips – mostly numbered from 1 to 10 sometimes 1 to 25 – like: deleting the person’s number, never talking to that person again, and removing anything that will remind you of that person. Terrifyingly, as an introvert among the list are our greatest nightmares like: going out, talking to people, and meeting new people (yikes) – as if telling me that the void this person left will be filled by another one or two (if one won’t suffice – obviously I’m talking about friendship).
One thing is for sure – moving on is hard. I’m sorry, make that two. Two things are sure: one, moving on is hard and two, you’ll get through it one way or the other (Touché myself, touché). If you’re gonna ask how I moved on, I think you’ll feel that I am too radical with my approach and you’re gonna classify me in the weird section of the shelf (and yes, at this point I’m giving you the permission to laugh if in case you see it funny). So the question that begs to be answered is how did I move on?
Again, it’s not easy. There is something I learned prior to the situation that I successfully applied (not to boast, but it became pretty handy during this though situation) – that is to re-focus. Simply, in order to put out the fire, one should not add volatile materials because it will just keep the fire burning, or worst enrage the fire, but one should have to wisely, slowly and surely put the fire under control. Enough with the fiery concept, what I did was I stopped listening to sad (worldly) songs that close caption my pain and, altogether, I stopped watching (worldly) movies and series that will make me want to raise my eyebrows just because I feel worst (And I hate seeing love birds getting sweet towards each other, haha – bitter). In this case, I really removed worldly genres in my selection. I listened to Christian music and watched Christian movies instead. It also helped that I use my spare time reading books than imagining what should’ve been. I then, started journal writing whenever I feel something, either good or bad – I just write my feelings instead of bottling them all up and cry at night (how Transformed by Grace is born!). As for crying, I saw that it is important to let it all go – personally, I find that I feel better the next day whenever I released all my emotions. And let us not forget, I learned to meet new friends and mingle with them.
Most importantly, I got help from Someone. Someone has become very special to me, in fact I wish I knew Him first, intimately. He filled the void in my heart, my longing. A true-to-His-word Gentleman who pursues me just as how I want to be pursued. He is always there when you need Him, highly dependable. He is willing to listen no matter how late and how long the conversation would take. He surely showed me the true meaning and essence of true love. Not only is He patient. He also turned my mourning into joy, gave me peace when when I’m in doubt, turned my sorrow into dancing, gave me love when I have nothing left, gave me strength when I am weak, made me smile when I’m about to cry, never left me when I feel alone. Without a doubt He is my Redeemer and my strong Refuge. He is my Savior. He rescued me from the pit of the broken heart. He is no other than my Father – my God, the creator of the universe that unconditionally loves me every single day of my life. I would not have done it without Him. And to that I say to God be the glory!
If it’s just me, I would not want you to experience what I have been through. I sincerely hope and pray we will experience the love we’ve always needed. But seeing that you may have stumbled upon my blog, because maybe you are now asking the same question I did before (if that is the case, I’m praying for you dear) – My dearest friend (yes, I am your new friend) I think you are not here because it’s an accident, I think you are here because God wants you to know that Jesus is the answer. He also wants you to know that: He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), He is willing to make you complete again (Colossians 2:10), He will make you strong in your moment weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and He will give peace and joy to your sorrow (1 Peter 5:7). All you have to do is acknowledge His presence into your life, acknowledge that Jesus is the only one that can help and save you*.
We may have different phasing and approach to moving on. Maybe what I radically did will not work for you, or maybe, somehow it would. But there is one thing I know will always work no matter what we are going through with our lives – it is surrendering our life to God and cultivating a relationship with Him.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 (NIV)